Bropinon: What’s the Rule on Dibs?


A simple phrase laying claim to anything and everything. From the last slice of pizza to the P1 controller on the XBOX, if you’re a Red Blooded American Male you gotta respect the Dibs. There’s only one time where there is ever any disagreement between bros and a dibs call; that’s of course, when it involves women.

This is by no means to say that a man can lay claim to a woman or any other such rape-y bullshit as that. However when you and 3 of your friends all want to go hit on the same girl at the bar and 2 out of her 3 friends are hideously ugly, there needs to be some organization involved. I’d imagine you ladies have your own such code but I don’t presume to know.

Calling Dibs on a girl is an intricate set of rules that needs to cover a variety of use cases, however I think here within we may have finally been able to clarify the rules on calling “Dibs” on the hot friend and other such situations.

Number of Dibs

You can’t have Dibs on more than 3 women at a time. The logic behind this is simple. You can’t be sleeping with more than one girl a day (and if you are you clearly don’t need to be calling dibs) and if you’re trying to juggle 7 girls in your life, you want to have the majority of them be steady fixtures in your rotation. 3 Dibs calls gives you enough wiggle room for some options, but doesn’t allow Bros to claim everything above a 6 as their own.


How long do Dibs last? It varies depending on your situation. A ton of factors can be at play here; your age, your current relationship status, your current hookup roster and more all affected the answers of the dozens of Bros I surveyed.

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If You’re Under 21:

Dibs last 3 -7 days. You get 1 weekend to make your move or move on. Your in college bro, there’s literally 20,000 other fish in the sea.

Exceptions include:

Virginity: Bro if you’re still a virgin, we’re alllll trying to get you laid. You get dibs for 60 days on anyone you want. If you can’t make something work in 60 days of college parties, chances are we’re saving you from yourself if you’re still trying.

Long Term Relationship Guy: We respect and salute the guy who locked down the true girl-next-door-high-school sweetheart. We’re also not naïve enough to think that anyone, guy or girl, locked it down at 16 and never strayed, so with that in mind, relationship guys get 45 days due to their lack of ability to socialize.

Ages 21-27

Dibs last 6 weeks. That gives you 2 weekends to make an impression, 2 weekends to work a little and 2 weekends to make something worthwhile out of it or move on. Bros respect the hustle, and entry level corporate life and bartender nightlife both sometimes mean only being able to go out on a limited basis. 6 weeks is 5 more weeks then you got in college and you’re not that old yet dude.

Exceptions Include:

Virginity: Bro if you’re STILL a virgin, I feel for you. Assuming there’s no religious reason behind it, then having not been laid by 25 is sort of a tough go of it. 12 weeks for you to work should be plenty of time. If you haven’t closed in 3 months, you really should’ve probably moved on 2 months earlier, and we’re trying to save you from yourself here. Someone else is going to end up with that girl, might as well let someone else in the squad have a shot at being that guy cause it ain’t you.

Married Guy: By your 20s we’ve all got a friend or two who’s married or at least talking about it. Being handcuffed in your 20s is weird time because you’re in your prime, but you also wouldn’t be tying yourself down unless you truly thought she was the one. Then again it’s always good to make sure you’ve still got game so calling dibs on the bartender is cool but your window is short 2 weeks, cause you never come out anyway so chances are you’re just spitting game for show and not to close. If you don’t make a move in 4 weeks, we know that you were never really ‘bout it anyway.


You’re a savvy veteran, but you move slower than you did in your prime. You get 4 weeks to make a move which is based on two lines of thinking: 1) If she’s so fine you’re calling dibs in your 30s, it’s gonna take you a little while, but 2) if she’s so fine we’re arguing over dibs in our 30s, I’m only giving you a LITTLE while, before making a move myself.

Exceptions Include:

Virginity: Come on dude, really? If you’re 33 and a virgin, you forfeited the right of Dibs awhile ago. We’ll let you get first crack at the cute friend, but there’s no chance your self confidence is possibly in a place worth letting you blow it for the whole squad. #SorryImNotSorry.

Married Guy: If you’re 30, married and out with us trying to pick up girls. Chances are something about your marriage isn’t going well, and as your bro I’m here for you if you need something. If that something includes the blonde at the end of the bar? You’ve got 3 days. I know that seems short but listen, I’m not trying to see you ruin your marriage. A one-night fun-night here and there is one thing; but I’m not going to encourage you to have a running affair on your wife.

Traveller Guy: By this age you have that friend who’s always traveling for one reason or another and having flings with girls in countries you’ve never heard of. THAT GUY. Yeah, he gets no Dibs. Sorry dude, after you just told me about the Russian flight attendant you just slayed last week, you’ve got last pick at the Pub down the street.


If you’re 35 years old and calling dibs on a girl you should probably get your shit together. Chances are 80% of us are in some sort of committed relationship, and if there’s ever a night when we ALL say fuck it, let’s just not tell the wives about this night, chances are we’re not arguing over who’s got Dibs. If you are, you’re a douchebag and I don’t mind letting you have Dibs because you’ll strike out the minute you lead with, “Ayo you with the fat ass” so no one is all that concerned about it.

No Exceptions.

Some Rules That Always Apply:

If You Know Her Prior to the Call: you get Dibs. But you also have the responsibility of introducing us to some friends and putting in a word. You also have half the amount of allotted time, consider you should have a head start.

If You Have a Dibs Call on her Friend: You cannot call Dibs. If you’ve got Dibs on her friend, why are you blocking? If you call Dibs and it comes up later that she’s a friend of a previous call, you should immediately start to work your friendship angle and make an assist.

The More “Dibs” You Call: The less the squad should respect your call. If you’re always trying to find a loophole, then you’re not following the code, and if you’re not gonna follow the code, Fuck your Dibs.

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Duration adjusted for Bros with more than 1 current “Dibs” Call.

Think there’s something we missed? Probably, this is only the opinion of a handful of bros. Let us know what we missed, and what other topics you’d like a Bropinion on.

Leigh Anne Tuohy, Racism, and the White Saviour Complex


An interesting take on the white savior complex

Originally posted on The Belle Jar:

Leigh Anne “That Nice Woman Sandra Bullock Played In The Blind Side” Tuohy recently posted the following picture and caption on her Facebook and Instagram accounts:


We see what we want! It’s the gospel truth! These two were literally huddled over in a corner table nose to nose and the person with me said “I bet they are up to no good” well you know me… I walked over, told them to scoot over. After 10 seconds of dead silence I said so whats happening at this table? I get nothing.. I then explained it was my store and they should spill it… They showed me their phones and they were texting friends trying to scrape up $3.00 each for the high school basketball game! Well they left with smiles, money for popcorn and bus fare. We have to STOP judging people and assuming and pigeon holing people!…

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Street harassment

Street Harassment and Why No One Talks to Each Other Anymore

Since the release of this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A (I think that’s the right one there’s about a million iterations floating around) the topic of Street Harassment has become a hot button issue. Awesome. Fantastic. I couldn’t be happier. Street Harassment is real, there is a male culture that perpetuates it, young males are taught that it’s ok, that women are bitches if they don’t respond etc. etc. I am ALL for stopping such a culture from spreading, and if possible reversing it.

Why then might you ask, does my tone seem so negative? Because I am so completely done with people sensationalizing things.

I have alot of problems with the responses this video has been getting. First there’s the race element (the missing white guys from the video in case you haven’t noticed). Then there’s the element of idiot men who’ve come out to threaten to rape and/or kill the woman in the video (wow seriously?). But the commentary I keep running into is:

Guy: “So I can’t even say hello to a woman anymore”

Woman: No. You Can’t. You are not entitled to say anything to a female ever because it’s part of a culture that makes you think you have a right to my body (continues for 3-5 more paragraphs, you get the point).

 (Proper response, that has yet to be heard): “No, I didn’t say that. There is a difference between, “Hello, How’s your day going” and “Dammmmnn Ma why you aint tryin’ to let me holla?! Stop being such a bitch. That difference is the line between trying to start a conversation or dialogue to better get to know someone, and talking AT them as though they are an underling or an object. Get it?

Here’s the issue with this dialogue, it doesn’t aid the cause in any way shape or form. Women need to stop telling men we’re not allowed to speak, that’s not how equality works. You get to talk AND I get to talk. A man saying “Hello” to a woman is not harassment, it’s the start of a conversation.

Now I’ll pause here for the common pushback that I receive which is that well if a man says “Hello” or “How are you” or any equally arbitrary sentence he’s obviously trying to bang you.

Except well, now you’re assuming just as much about my intentions as a man as you ask me not to assume of you as a lady. You tell me not to assume you’re promiscuous if you want to wear a short dress on a Friday night, right? Then don’t assume I’m a rapist because I said “Hi”.

It’s called equality. You don’t get to tell us when or when not to talk, and neither do we. That’s the ideal we should be working toward, and anything else is simply counterproductive. I’m sick of all the “well it’s ok because the patriarchy does it to us” bullshit. I feel bad about it, I do, but realize that me saying “Hello” is not the patriarchy trying oppress you. It’s me trying to make a friend. Or ask you where you bought those shoes because they’re just like the ones my girlfriend said she wanted for christmas. Or whatever of a billion reasons people say fucking hello.

Remember all those years spent fighting for the right to own property, vote, have a VOICE. I respect that struggle entirely, and am on board to help. However don’t tell me I now don’t get a voice because I have a penis and that makes me dangerous.

One blog I read written by a woman told men, “If you’re going to say hello to me you might as well say it to every man, woman and child you see.” I would argue, how do you know that I don’t? And even if I don’t, it is clear that this blogger believes that women can choose who to talk to and who not to (she laid out a variety of social settings in which she’d feel comfortable approaching people), why as a guy am I not allowed to do the same?

I LOVE starting conversations with strangers, but in my lifetime men have become demonized to a point where I can’t strike up a conversation with a woman without being called a creep, I can’t ask for a dance without having an intent on banging you and I can’t teach a young kid how to throw a football without being called a pedophile.

Newsflash, a burley old man who lived next door taught me how to throw a football because he was good at it. A woman who taught my 10th grade history class taught me how to dance with no intent on sleeping with me (at least not to my knowledge) because that was her fun way of getting us to remember historical facts and countless people have randomly started conversations with me from grade school to current day; it’s sort of how people make friends.

I recognize the world is a big scary place full of creepy characters that we all need to be alert and on watch for. I also recognize that in 2014, in a time where more media exists than ever before, that statistically instances of rape, sexual assault, child abuse, and just about everything else you hear about on the news (save for terrorist attacks, missing planes and school shootings) have stayed pretty level. You’re just been taught to be more frightened by them because we spend 80% of our days in front of a screen, consuming what roughly 10 companies decide to put in front of us. We’re more disconnected than ever and that’s what makes the mere idea of humans talking to other humans now qualify for “Harassment.”

So Let’s Be Clear as We Recap:

Screaming “Dammmmnnn You Look FINNNNNEEEE” or anything equivalent IS harassment (side note: Woman & Men both do this, I’ve heard you and seen you. My friends, myself and my family included).

Telling a woman she’s a bitch because she won’t give you her number IS harassment.

Physically touching, grabbing, smacking etc the body of another IS harrassment and likely assult as well.

Following a girl down the street, stride for stride, for 6 minutes IS harassment, And likely you’re starting toward a new crime called stalking at that point.

But Saying “Hello,” “Good Morning,” “How are you” “Those are cute shoes” “I love your dress, you look dashing/amazing/pretty/beautiful” is not harassment. I’m sorry to break it to you. You can choose to accept or decline anyone’s compliments or interactions, that is completely up to you.

But Please Please Please, let’s stop making things bigger than they are, some of us, maybe the minority of us (I’ve been the minority my whole life why stop now)that believe it or not, just want to say hello. Maybe to make a new friend, maybe to talk about a show we watched recently or just what’s happening around town. You know, like people used to.






#27, This Story is About the League NOT the Player

Let’s start with what we all know. Ray Rice beat the hell out of wife (then-fiance) Janay Palmer in an elevator in Atlantic City a few months ago.

Let’s follow that with what new news we received this weekend: Nothing.

The video released showed nothing more than what we all already knew happened. Rice admitted to it, and the NFL punished him (I use the term to describe his 2-game suspension loosely) for it. Rice’s wife has gone out and spoken about how they are working on their relationship and they went on to get married, happily so by all reports. Furthermore, many (myself incuded) believe that this video had already been seen by the NFL and at the very least they knew it existed and CHOSE not to view it.


Now let me make it clear that I’m a firm believer that most people who abuse their partners in any way often are going to do it again. That said, why don’t we go after those guys who actually do, rather than putting Rice’s head on a stake because it was on video? It’s graphic, it’s horrifying and the lack of empathy shown as he drags her body off the elevator is terrifying. But in a league, and a fan base, who has no problem heralding convicted murders and cheering on rapists, where do we get off claiming this guy ought to never be allowed to earn a paycheck again?

Charges weren’t pressed, punishments WERE handed down, and by all accounts he’s doing everything right since. He’s in counseling and while I don’t think all of his actions have been perfect (see: The “Apologetic” Press Conference in which he opens by apologizing to everyone besides Janay) his behavior since seems about on-par with what you’d like to see; a guy trying to do the right thing after fucking up epically.

Many people I’ve spoken to are outraged that I think Rice ought to be allowed back in the league (though I think the original suspension should’ve been longer than 2 games). More still think I’m apologizing for his behavior and I’m not. But if you’re looking for a guy to go after, to make him the face of domestic abuse in athletes I do think this is a terrible choice.  There have been hoards of athletes who’ve been convicted of multiple assaults on their significant others. There are athletes with 11 kids from 11 mothers many of whom they assaulted. Here in New England we only need to go back about 12-15 years to remember running back Dave Megget who was convicted of rape or Aaron Hernandez who fucking MURDERED somebody. In Kansas City last year a linebacker murdered his child’s mother before taking his own life and got about 10% of the attention this is getting.


I’m all for bring domestic abuse to the forefront of the conversation, I think it is an important issue that needs to be addressed, and in a violent sport that is home to many of our sons’ heroes we need to be keenly aware of the example we’re setting. All I’m saying is perhaps this should’ve started long ago; It shouldn’t take a video for the NFL to do something about it, and it sure as hell shouldn’t take weeks of public pressure and a SECOND video for them to take any serious action. I am sad for Janae Palmer and hope that Ray Rice is serious about getting help, but I am far more sad for NFL fans, specifically for those with kids, who’ve had to wait this long to watch the NFL bumble it’s way through attempting to address an issue their league has had for generations and one they are unwilling to admit is real. This story is about the NFL and how they’ve turned a blind eye to domestic assaults for decades, it shouldn’t be about taking Ray Rice to task.


Gloucester – The New Hotbed for Hip Hop?

Originally posted on The Gloucester Clam:

By Guest Contributor Michael Caesar, Special Hip Hop Correspondent

Gloucester Massachusetts is set and primed to be the next great hip-hop hot bed.

Yep, I said it; my expertise on the subject is derived from the 17+ years I spent living on the island and a profound appreciation for DJ Premier beats and gold chains.


Now I know what you’re thinking…How does this suburban fishing community qualify for the birthplace of the next big hip hop revolution? Simple. It has all the characteristics of the direction post-2006 hip-hop has taken. Think about it…

It Has a Blue Collar Attitude, While Sporting White Collar Attributes

Gloucester rappers are professionals at talking rapidly in profane sentences that don’t make sense, making repeated references to #TheStruggle and their realness all while residing within a stones throw (more often than not, literally) from the ocean. Waterfront property, vacation homes and B&B’s create the…

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